Over a distance of twenty feet, through a sealed metal door, and breaking through the chaotic sounds of an evening television show, we distinctly heard scratching on the front stoop. I raised an eyebrow to Jodi, and she to me. Dexter's ears stood erect. He barked.

Carefully, I cracked the front door, watching for the expected possum. No such beast was there. In fact, it was even more terrifying. It was a gigantic toe-biter!

I know, you think I'm making that up, or it's a cute nickname for the neighbor boy. You'd be wrong. It is indeed commonly called a toe-biter. It is also known as a ferocious water bug, or giant water bug. This dude was easily three inches long and almost two across. He had pinchers like I've never seen on a insect in my life.

We rushed to get the camera, but by the time we went back outside, he was gone. I guess we could have tried to catch it, but I can't work a lasso.

As you might also guess, we didn't know what it was until I did some research today. We thought it was a hideously deformed cockroach. After finally finding what it was, we decided Jodi's suggested to catch it and put it in nephew Anthony's bug habitat wouldn't be such a great idea. Most references to this monster say it is a stalking killer, and the pain from a bite exceeds the worst on the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which is described as "pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your heel." Besides that, the death its prey experiences is by having its guts dissolved in the ferocious giant toe-biter water bug's toxic saliva. Yikes.

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_water_bug