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Hollywood Not Just Out of Ideas

by mike on January 12th, 2006

Apparently, Hollywood is not just out of ideas; they hate us.
Last year, we had the sorry “Dukes of Hazzard” movie.
This year, we have a movie about snakes on a plane called “Snakes on a Plane.” The tagline reads, “On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who’s a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes.” This has to be the best title, and worst plot hook, for a movie ever. Apparently they were originally going to give it the anemic title “Pacific Air Flight 121″, but lead actor Samuel L. Jackson took the job based entirely on the title, and demanded that it not be changed. Here’s your check, Sam.
Next up this year is a remake of “Revenge of the Nerds.” Didn’t this movie go straight to “USA Up All Night”? I can’t think of a movie less worthy of a remake…or maybe that’s most needy.
Lastly, and most depressing, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are planning a remake of “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” I think we all know how Ben’s last couple of movies turned out. Matt needs to cut him loose while he still has a career. Only “Psycho” was less in need of a remake.
I’m holding out for a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman (recent projects: “Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys”, “Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!”, and “Serial Killing 4 Dummies”) remake of “Red Heat.”

From → Humor

One Comment
  1. SO I hear you’re doing BOTH of the weddings I recommended you for…AWESOME! You know, with this plethora of Texans in DC, I should become your agent :) jk…hope all is well!!!…and c’mon…give Ben Afflek just ONE more chance…maybe Jennifer Garner can be his muse or something. We can only hope.

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