Things That Amused/Annoyed Me Today

My company served free tryptophan for lunch today.
Then, in an equally rare move, served free coffee in the afternoon. I’ll give you two guesses why, and the first doesn’t count.
The men’s locker room at Gold’s Gym has an ad poster with a picture of some bozo winking at the camera, holding hands with a bikini-clad woman, walking on a boat dock, where the caption says “She’ll never know it’s not your boat. *** Boat Rentals.”
My wife told me her sister called to see if she was the woman in the dramatic news video of a nighttime flood rescue in Texas because the woman in the video had her hair in a familiar-looking pony-tail. Bless her heart. Tell ya what, Jill; if Jodi is ever rescued in a flood, and the video is making the rounds at all the national news outlets, we’ll give you a call.
My church used an pre-recorded telemarketing phone system to call me and personally invite me to a Women’s Christian Outreach event.