Communication Breakdance

Assumptions are bad. Unfortunately, we as men are sometimes required to make them to fulfill our obligation as properly trained house pets. I’ll explain.
First, let’s interpret the following question:

“At what temperature can we turn the heat on?”

Now, in my estimation, there are two interpretations; the first being the obvious, and the second being quite a stretch.

1. I’d like the heat turned on tonight. At what temperature would you (or, more correctly, “we”) like it set?
2. How cold does it have to get before we turn the heat on? (And, by the way, this doesn’t mean I have a desire to turn on the heat tonight…necessarily. I’m just talking about our first winter together and wondering what it’ll be like.)

A certain member of the household declared recently (read: an hour ago), that the quote above and the second interpretation carry the same meaning. I had incorrectly assumed that the original question carried a heavy assumption with it. That assumption being, of course, a deep desire to adjust the thermostat so as to generate heat in the very near future. I’ll caution the reader that the original question had no context. It was as though the question had fallen from a tree. Oh look! A question! It must have fallen from a tree…poor thing. I should let it loose and see what happens.
This brings up another discrepancy in our dialogue. Apparently, I had accused the speaker of not having made an assumption, but rather of having made an implication. To which I reply, “what’s the difference?” I think the answer to this is that an assumption is something I had made, and an implication is something the speaker had not made. Yet, the question I asked didn’t make sense, since I had said the question “carried with it a heavy assumption.” You see, my accusation was wrong to begin with. I should have accused the speaker of having made an implication, which would have been the right thing to accuse, but still incorrect.
Dizzy yet?
So, in my brilliance, I came up with the perfect argument. Take, for example, a situation in which there are many dishes in and around the sink. I ask, “so at what point will we do the dishes.” To which one might think, “oh, he probably wants the dishes done soon, I’ll say ‘sometime tonight’.” Now, take away the context and ask the same question. It doesn’t make sense, does it? Why would I ask about dishes when there are none to be cleaned? Maybe I was asking about imaginary dishes.
Ok, so now the original question carries additional assumptions (or was that implications…or context…or uurgh). The temperature today barely broke 50°F. Inside, it’s chilly. She must mean she wants the heat on, right? Nope.
So, then I’m reminded that whenever the speaker says “it’s cold in here,” my standard response is “can I get you a sweater?” To which I say, “but you didn’t ask me a question.” At which point I’m told, with all the sincerity you can imagine, “well, my observation implies that I want the heat turned on.”