Gym Rant

I went to the gym after work today, as I often do, and observed a recurring situation that warrants ranting.
Firstly, let’s ponder the purpose of a gym. My estimation is that such an establishment is for the betterment of one’s health. This takes the form of moving one’s body, usually strenuously, for a period not less than half of one hour. Now that this is established…
As I left today, I decided to count the vehicles that were illegally parked. There were nineteen. That’s right, nineteen. The majority of these illegally parked vehicles were illegally parked within fifty yards of the gym entrance. There could be several reasons for this. I present those now:

• Bad weather (There are only ~65 days of rain a year in Austin, today was not one of them. In fact, it was a balmy 70 degrees at the time.)
• Poorly lit/dangerous parking lot (It is very well lit with constant activity.)
• The drivers of said vehicles are handicapped, and all the handicapped spaces are occupied (There were H spaces available, and none of said vehicles had the appropriate markings. In addendum, most of said vehicles are either six inches to the ground or six feet away from it.)
• The cars broke down and ended up where they ended up (Wrong.)

Another conclusion to which we may arrive is that these people feel some sort of need to park near the entrance because it is too far to walk from all of the open spaces a mere 250 feet away. Drawing from our understanding of the purpose of a gym, shall we conclude that these fine automobile operators are lazy? Surely not! What then is the mental condition of these criminals (remember: illegally parked)? Given the sheer volume of autos, I think we can safely assume that some are using equipment inside the gym that require a form of human propulsion, such as an excercise bike, or (gasp) treadmill. So, drawing again from the purpose of a gym established earlier, there are probably some of these fine persons who spend half of one hour on a treadmill. For the sake of argument, let’s say a given person walks a mere one mile on a treadmill. One mile is equal to 5280 feet. Recall that the distance between many of the illegally parked vehicles and a vast number of open parking spaces is 250 feet. For you math wizards, that’s about 1/20 of a mile; obviously an intolerable distance to travel by foot pre- or post-workout. You’re at the gym, people!!
Most of these vehicles are fancy; like jacked-up four-wheelers or 300ZXs or something. Maybe it’s an image thing.
q.e.d.