OhMyHead

Andersen is super strong and always on the go.  It’s not uncommon for me to set him in his car seat, only to turn one second later and see him like this (see picture->) trying to get out.  In fact, he’s so strong that he’s rocked it over a couple of times like that.  Geesh.  He’ll do the same thing in the swing, so that ended any sleeping in either place at night time.  He is definitely a man on the move.  If you lay him on his back his legs are in constant motion; put him on his belly and he’ll turn himself around and scoot all over the place (using just his legs though; no arms or hands).  Bizarre to watch, and the constant kicking I recognize from before he was born.

He smiles regularly now, which is a ton of fun, and coos and talks a lot too.  He is such a doll, and while I know I’m partial, you can’t help but love him.  At only three months old, he already knows what he wants, and that is clearly Mommy.  He is without a doubt our “high needs” baby, who wants to be held, but not by just anyone; he almost always wants me.  Daddy is okay sometimes too, but often I still have to be around.  Take tonight for example. We were all outside enjoying the cool evening when Abe and April wanted to ride around the block.  Since Mike is somewhat crippled (majorly sprained his ankle last week), I left Andersen with him on the steps and I walked with them.  Andersen screamed the whole time I was gone, getting more upset the further I got, and the instant I was back in sight, he calmed down.  It is sweet and special to be so wanted and known by one so young, but it’s also extremely exhausting, especially when you have two other kids that need you too.  But, he’s learning to love for a life time, and I certainly want to cultivate that the best I know how.  I was reading a blog today and something this woman with nine kids wrote cut me to the core:

“To become a mother, I had to learn how to care about someone more than I did about myself, and that was terrible.  But who I am now is something more terrible:  the protector who can’t always protect; the one with arms that are designed to hold, always having to let go… don’t blame yourself for thinking that your life is hard.  You’re suffering now because you’re turning into a new woman, a woman who is never allowed to be alone.  For what?  Only so that you can become strong enough to be a woman who will be left.”

I continue to cherish these years as they breeze by so quickly, while still recognizing that there are many long days mixed in.

OUR SLEEP ISSUE:  I separated this section out because I figure a lot of you will want to stop reading now.  I’m sure our sleep issues are boring to the masses, if you even made it this far.  If you aren’t a grandparent, I’m impressed!

Sleep especially has been a huge challenge with Andersen.  With only a few exceptions, he’s been sleeping with me in the chair these entire three months.  Yes, I enjoy the cuddles with my sweet baby, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t desperately missed sleeping in my bed, next to my hubby!  Once the gunk was gone, I started working on getting him to sleep in the crib/bassinet.  Bassinet is an absolute no-go, so we’ve given that up.  We’re having more success in the crib, with the big stepping stone happening the night he turned three months old – 8.5 hours (not continuous) in his crib!!! Yay!

It pretty much boils down to this:  At about two and half months I learned that he was a belly sleeper.  You see the problem here since everyone in the medical profession drums into you early on not to lay them down on their belly.  I’ve found there are typically two reactions that I’ll get from people regarding this.  The first is, “I put all of my babies to sleep on their bellies and they’re fine!  They change how they’re supposed to sleep every couple of years anyway.  Don’t listen to them; just do it!”  To you people I say this- I have done my research and there is no denying that there is a tie between belly sleeping and SIDS.  Read this article,  “A Quiet Revolt Against SIDS”; yes, the article is seven years old, but the fact of the matter is, I still haven’t been able to find any expert, even the lenient ones, that can deny a link between the two.  The percentage of babies dying from SIDS changed significantly since laying babies on their back, so don’t be so quick to dismiss it.

The other reaction is pretty much the same one I have, which is I never did it with either of my kids.  Both Abe and April slept on their belly, but not until they were able to roll over to their belly themselves (for April, this was at 3 months).  For a couple weeks I’ve been in angst about what to do.  However, the older Andersen gets, the less safe I feel about sleeping in the chair with him.  He’s bigger and moves more now and we’ve had a couple “close calls” with sleeping in the chair.

So, I’ve broken the belly rule just a bit with Andersen.  He can roll over, but not yet from back to belly.  Meaning, I’m laying him down on his belly, not his back.  I’ve borrowed an AngelCare Monitor from a friend to remove my angst with this; it will alarm if he stops breathing or moving (it’s super-sensitive).  Call me crazy, but that’s okay.  I don’t need anything else to tack onto our list of craziness this past year and a half; not if I can prevent it anyway.  Once he can role from back to belly, I’ll give the monitor back.  So, we’re far from being on a schedule or sleeping through the night, but we’re getting there.